Van Peters Hair Probe

28th January

Its claimed that flamboyant bassist Pervis Van Peters is suffering from dramatic and sudden hair loss, and has possibly been receiving radical experimental treatment. It all started when a local reporter retrieved a large ball of ginger hair from Pervis's domestic rubbish. However there was no evidence of prescribed products or chemical treatments in the litter. The finder of the hair, gutter journo Keith 'trimmer' Beaconsfield claims that Van Peters will be using a bizarre combination of organic treatments which explains the lack of conventional medicinal evidence. Trimmer claims the rubbish bags contained several soiled pipe cleaners, a large number of lemon skins and a number of small dead mammals. Van Peters was tonight unavailable for comment.

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